Hi ladies! Thanks for being here today.
We’re here to talk about postpartum recovery. I’ve seen the “5 5 5 rule” on social media quite a bit. It’s a rule of thumb for postpartum recovery and rest. Basically, you spend the first five days after birth in bed. Days 6-10 are spent on the bed, and days 11-15 are spent around the bed.
When I was expecting my first baby, I thought the 5 5 5 rule sounded cute. But… excessive.
For context, I worked full time as an emergency department nurse. I had my son in October, right during the middle of hospital peak season. Meanwhile, I was working 12 hours shifts, on my feet for hours at a time, and overall just working a physically demanding job. I loved it, but by the time I hit 37 weeks, my body was hurting at the end of every shift.
I couldn’t wait for maternity leave, but the 5 5 5 rule sounded kind of crazy.
Throughout my pregnancy, I thought, “I’m tough. I don’t think I could go from this pace to complete relaxation for 2 weeks. Actually, I don’t even know what I would do with 15 days of rest! I know I’ll be recovering from childbirth, but how bad could that be?”
So I didn’t really rest. I would get up and sit on the couch, or try to do some light housework. I almost never napped, even though I was up feeding the baby throughout the night.
And I have regrets about the way I navigated postpartum.
My Regrets Surrounding Postpartum Recovery
I didn’t get to enjoy my baby the way I wish I had been able to. I remember looking at him and thinking, “Is this what motherhood is supposed to be like? My body aches, I’m bleeding, my boobs are leaking, I’m dreading going to the bathroom, and I have no energy to put into looking after myself. When was the last time I showered? My hair is dirty, and I don’t even remember if I’ve brushed my teeth today.“
Sadly, I felt so emotionally detached from my baby. I felt like I was going through the motions, trying to keep this little blob of a human alive. But I didn’t feel like I thought a mother should feel.
I was an emotional mess. Hormonal shifts after childbirth are crazy. But you know what accelerates the crazy? Sleep deprivation. Ya’ll, I was a mess. It’s funny now, but I couldn’t stop crying on day 2 postpartum.
I operated in survival mode instead of relaxing and allowing my body to heal. I was so stressed about feeding and changing and weight gain. Bonding with my baby (as well as physical healing) didn’t happen as quickly because I was in survival mode.
And do you know what the saddest part is? I will never get that time back with my son. I’ve bonded with him now, and he is the happiest, healthiest six-month-old. Seriously, I love being his mother. We figured it out.
But I will never get his newborn stage back. And if/when we have more children, I will never have a postpartum time where the baby is the only child I have to focus on. I wish I had taken more time to rest and recover with my baby.
Postpartum Expectations
First time moms (like me) tend to think that postpartum will be gloriously task-free. We get to focus on baby and we will have so much time to recover.
In our pregnant-about-to-give-birth minds, this is what the normal postpartum day will look like:
Super easy, right? Very doable. After all, how hard can it be to take care of one tiny human?
Postpartum Reality
Ya’ll, this is for ONE MORNING. We’re not even including the afternoon or evening.
In this scenario, mama isn’t pumping at all. She’s not caring for a C-section incision. And she isn’t caring for other kiddos. She’s not doing much more than just caring for herself and her baby. And she’s going to be doing it on less than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep… for weeks on end.
Why are we talking about how hard postpartum is?
I wish someone had told me this before I had my first. I want to emphasize that fact that postpartum recovery deserves some time for relaxation. You can try to do it all, but don’t.
I want you to be able to prepare.
Set up childcare, put some meals in the freezer, and get some comfy pajamas. Delegate the laundry and the cleaning. Stock up on grocery staples and personal care supplies. Buy disposable dishes. Invest in a grocery delivery service, or ask for one as a baby gift. You can do so many things to make life easier for yourself.
Postpartum recovery just takes time. And that’s okay.
Using Rhythms Instead of Schedules or Routines
You probably have some things you want to do every day. These are the non-negotiables that you cannot delegate. Like brushing your teeth, getting a shower, and brushing your hair.
Many new moms find themselves struggling to remember these non-negotiables when they have a baby. Because your entire schedule and routine change (both after having a baby, as well as day-to-day), it’s easy to forget to brush your teeth.
Rhythms can be great when routines are thrown off. Instead of waking up at the same time every day, you’ll probably wake up when the baby wakes up. After waking up, if you do the same things in the same order, you’ll feel more productive and organized. For example, first feed the baby, then change baby, make breakfast, and brush your teeth. Whether that rhythm happens at 6:30 AM or 9:29 AM, you have your order of business already established.
Realistic Application of the 5 5 5 Rule
Let’s talk about the 5 5 5 rule and how it would look, realistically. The 5 5 5 rule is very intentional about taking time to recover. This is some serious maternity leave, folks.
Days 1-5: In the Bed
Your vaginal bleeding will be fairly heavy with some clots. You may be very sore from pushing, and your hormones will be drastically, rapidly shifting. You may be very emotional and tired.
Your milk will come in on day 2 or day 3, so you’ll probably have some engorgement pain. You’re figuring out breastfeeding, as well.
Set yourself up for success for these first five days. Have some quick meals in the freezer that your husband can heat up and bring to you. Put some snacks, baby’s bassinet, and all the baby care supplies within reach of the bed. You may find that it’s helpful to have a changing pad right on the bed with you, so that you can change baby without even getting out of bed. You should only be getting up to go to the bathroom. And you should be napping a lot, pretty much every time the baby naps.
Days 6-10: On the Bed
Your bleeding has slowed a little bit, and the muscle soreness is probably better. Your engorgement will probably have improved by this point. Hopefully, breastfeeding is going a little bit easier.
You’ll be sitting up in bed a little more, and you can allow yourself to do some light tasks. You may want to fold laundry or do some computer work. You’re still napping a lot, and you’re still soaking up all that baby time. But you should feel much more rested than you did in the first 5 days.
Days 11-15: Near the Bed
During these days, you’re just limiting your activity. You still want to have freezer meals, but you can sit on the couch and eat at the table. You may want to go outside and just relax. But you do want to stay home and keep healing. Try to still take naps as often as you can! Rest will really help to speed your healing and boost your milk production.
Is the 5 5 5 Rule Overkill?
Maybe.
I’ve heard that postpartum recovery after your first baby is the most difficult, and that recovery is much easier after subsequent babies. The 5 5 5 rule is super intentional about rest and recovery, and you may not need that much rest.
However, I think it’s important to understand how much rest your body needs, and most women need to plan well to allow themselves to rest enough after giving birth. Planning to implement the 5 5 5 rule helps you to prepare so that you can rest as much as you need to. If you decide that you are good to go after day 8, that’s wonderful.
Wrapping It Up
The 5 5 5 rule can be a helpful planning tool for postpartum. 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, and 5 days near the bed can help you relax and heal so that you can soak in those newborn snuggles.
What do you wish you had done differently postpartum? Did you follow the 5 5 5 rule? Let me know. I look forward to hearing from you!
Lynette
Note: Photos from Pixabay and courtesy of Sarah Chai, Kristina Paukshtite, Monica Turlui, and Andrea Piacquadio.