Hi mama! We’re back today to talk about practical ways to delight in our children, and the importance of enjoying our children as they grow up.
We’ve all seen stressed, harried mothers take out that frustration on their kids. And in many cases, we’ve been those mothers. Life hurries past so fast that we always feel like we’re trying to catch up, and our kids get in our way.
We’ve also seen mothers who slow down, smile at their children, and intentionally train them. You know, the kind of mother where other people see her and say, “Wow, you really love being a mother, don’t you? I could never be that patient.”
I want to be the second kind of mother. But how do we do that in the everyday moments?
I remember when we were expecting our first child, and we had invited some good friends over. We wanted to ask them for any advice or tips they wished they would have had when they first started having children. This family had done a great job with their kids, who were now teenagers.
One thing that this other mother said has stayed with me. “It’s so important to delight in your kids,” she said. “They need to know that you love them, you’re proud of them, and that you enjoy them.”
What Does It Mean to Delight in Our Children?
I want my son to have a happy, relaxed childhood. A home that is a place where he can safely let down his guard. I want that home to have structure, but somewhere he wants to bring his friends home to.
I want to give my son a mother who holds him accountable, but also celebrates his wins. A mother who enforces boundaries, but also enjoys the person he is becoming.
Delighting in our kids is enjoying the results of intentional, consistent training (you can read more about that in this post.). It’s praising God for the person He has created in your child. Delighting is acknowledging God’s goodness in giving you this child at this time. It’s realizing that God has intentionally gifted you with this child to make you both more like Jesus.
And that enjoyment of our children shows itself as we train, discipline, comfort, and nurture. It brings laughter as they learn to walk, and enjoyment as they develop logic. Delighting fosters friendship as they mature into young adults.
How Do We Delight in Our Children in All The Busyness?
Often, I feel like I forget to enjoy my son just because life is so busy, or because we’re going through a difficult season.
We recently went through a time of grief (and in many ways, are still going through it). I remember waking up one day, looking at my son, and thinking, “When did you get so big? What did you do with my baby? I feel like I’ve been gone for the past month.”
Sometimes that’s just because we’re going through a season, and we have to give ourselves time to heal. But other times, we can get caught up in the busyness of life and miss out on our children’s lives. How do we avoid doing that?
Staying Grounded in The Gospel
We need to be reinforcing the truth of the Gospel in our minds every day, if we are going to truly delight in our children. Because motherhood is hard.
The lack of sleep? Difficult.
The constant touching? Exhausting.
Being a mom twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week? It’s the most demanding job we’ll ever have.
I struggle to enjoy my child when I am feeling the weight of motherhood. But the truth is that God gives me this child to teach me to trust Him. The truth is that God has saved me to have a relationship with Him. The truth is that no one can separate me from my Father’s love.
And the bold, incredible truth is that my Father delights in me, even when I am far from perfect.
So how can I deny my child that same type of courageous love? The love that says, “Even though you will rebel, I will love you enough to correct you… and delight in you. Even though you inconvenience me, I will love you and help you do what is right. Even when you rebel, I will sacrifice, not to give you what you want, but to do what’s best for you.”
If you struggle to understand the way God delights in His children, study it. Read Psalm 18:16-19. Check out Zephaniah 3:17. This article about delighting in God and His delight in us is really good too.
Technology Can Be a Thief
Technology is such a wonderful advancement, but we as moms need to be so careful that we are using it wisely. I’ve often found myself mindlessly scrolling when I should be enjoying my child. Set boundaries for yourself. My boundary is that I don’t want to be scrolling social media when my son is awake.
Use technology to your advantage. Plan movie nights and use screen time when you think it’s wise to do so. But be careful that you aren’t missing out on delighting in your child because you’re so in the habit of being on TikTok or Instagram.
Twenty years from now, you won’t regret missing out on your favorite TikTokker’s newest vido. However, you will regret not having enjoyed your babies, even in the busy stages.
Don’t Equate “Hard” with “Bad”
Parenting is hard. Motherhood is hard.
But don’t make the mistake of equating hard with bad. You’re never going to live in a perfect home. And you’ll never have a perfect husband, or perfect children. You’re never going to be a perfect mother. And while we should always be growing, we don’t have to wait for life to be easy to delight in our children.
Don’t wait for them to stop teething, or getting into everything, to enjoy them. Don’t wait until they’re in school. Please don’t make the mistake of thinking, “oh, once I don’t have two under two, I’ll enjoy motherhood more,” or “once I get out of the terrible twos, motherhood will be so much more fun.” Or even what I used to think: “Once he’s sleeping through the night, I’ll start enjoying him so much more.” Don’t live life always wishing for the next stage.
Embrace the difficult parts of motherhood. Hard is not the same as bad. It’s possible to have two under two and still delight in your kids. Ask God for help, and He will give you grace as you trust Him.
Create Intentional Blocks of Time
One thing you can do is block off a daily time on your schedule to connect with your kids in an unhurried, uninterrupted way.
This could look like cuddling together on the couch while you sip on your cup of coffee. Or maybe spending fifteen minutes before bed to read a book together. Or talking about the school day around the dinner table.
Whatever it is, try to spend uninterrupted time together, and take time to enjoy the little people God has given you to love, train, and mold.
The Most Important Reason to Delight in Our Children
Delighting in our kids is so important because it shows them how their Heavenly Father views them. It shows them the value that Jesus places on all of us, no matter our age.
Delighting in our kids says that we really believe in the Gospel. We believe that Jesus died for them, and that they are priceless.
May God help you and me to delight in our children, while we delight in Him this week.
Until next time,
Lynette
The gorgeous photos in this post were taken by these talented photographers:
Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com, Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com, Sergey Makashin on Pexels.com, Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com, Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com, Jep Gambardella on Pexels.com, Arina Krasnikova on Pexels.com, and Yan Krukau on Pexels.com