Most birth coaches or birth experts emphasize the importance of relaxing during labor. Relaxation speeds up dilation, conserves energy, and helps with pain control.
But how do you relax during labor? Let’s talk about it.
Different Tools for Different Stages
Relaxation is important for all of labor. However, relaxation during early labor is much different than relaxation during active labor. You’ll use different tools in different stages, so let’s talk about the stages or labor.
Early Labor
In this stage, contractions are happening frequently, but not regularly. You’re still wondering if this is actually labor. (In fact, you won’t know whether or not you’re in actual labor until you progress to the next stage.) You can still ignore the contractions. You’re often excited and want to call everyone to tell them that today might be the day!
In this stage, your cervix is dilating to 3-6ish cm. Your oxytocin is surging, which often contributes to a relaxed, happy feeling. You feel like you can do anything, and you’re excited to finally have an end in sight. You’ve been pregnant forever, and you can’t wait to meet your baby.
Active Labor
This stage is often where the hard work really starts. Your contractions become more painful, and they’re closer together. At this point, you know for sure that you’re in labor. You may start to fight panic for the first time, or an overwhelming feeling of “I can’t do this!”
In this stage, your cervix is dilating from 3ish cm to 7 cm. Many women feel a strong urge to go somewhere where they feel safe. If you’re planning a birth away from home, this is when you’ll want to make sure you’re there safely. You’ll probably also want to shut out distractions, go somewhere dark and quiet, and not talk to people.
Oxytocin is should be very high during this stage. (Oxytocin keeps your labor moving, helps with pain control, and helps you relax). However, you want to be sure to avoid anything that stresses you out or makes you feel unsafe during active labor. Unnecessary stress causes a surge of epinephrine and norepinephine, commonly known as “fight-or-flight hormones.” These hormones can block oxytocin, which makes your labor more painful and longer during this stage.
(This is why many woman get to the hospital and labor stalls out. Their fight-or-flight hormones kick in and they struggle to manage the pain. We’ll talk about how to avoid that a little later on).
Transition
The third stage of labor is transition. You are SO CLOSE to meeting your baby, but this is often the hardest time to stay relaxed. (I found that to be true for myself.) The contractions become most intense, and many woman find themselves saying, “I can’t do this anymore” during this stage.
You may find yourself emotionally saying “I can’t do this” even as you realize, mentally, that this is just a hormonal, normal stage of labor. It’s an odd feeling.
Your cervix is dilating from 8-10 cm. It’s the homestretch before you start pushing. Even though it’s intense, this is the shortest stage of labor (usually 30 minutes-2 hours). Relaxation is key to keeping transition as short as possible.
I’ve heard midwives say that if you get to transition, you are going to be just fine having an unmedicated birth. You are SO CLOSE to holding that little baby.
Relaxation During Each Stage
Okay, we’ve talked about each stage of labor. Now let’s discuss how to relax differently for each stage.
Relaxation During Early Labor
Honestly, relaxation is hard during early labor because you are so excited. The pain is usually minimal or very manageable, but you are so excited to meet your baby that you don’t want to relax.
Relaxation is so important though. You will need to conserve energy for labor. Try to get a nap, if you can. Maybe get a massage or a pedicure. Wash your hair, or do something fun that normally helps you to relax. And try to ignore the contractions until you can’t anymore.
Also, you may want to chat with a bunch of people during early labor, but make sure that they know to give you space. Be aware that you may not be in a mental space to keep lots of people updated over the next 24 hours or so. You don’t want to feel pressured update people when you’re in active labor or transition. If you want people to stay updated, designate a point person to communicate with other family members so you don’t have to.
Stay hydrated and get a good meal with some protein and carbs. You are going to need energy over the next several hours. Your body will do what it’s supposed to do, just try to rest and prepare during early labor.
Relaxation During Active Labor
Relaxation is going to get a little more challenging during this stage.
Environment is incredibly important. And you are going to need help with communicating what environment you need. Make sure that your husband knows what to ask hospital staff.
If you’re giving birth in the hospital, get there so that you can relax. Ask if staff can dim the lights. Play soft music or white noise so that you can’t hear people in the hall or the next room. Ask to have as few people in the room as possible. Ask if you can have intermittant fetal monitoring instead of constant monitoring. If you’re a person who relaxes well while walking, try walking around the room.
Focus on relaxing from head to toe during each contraction. Relax your forehead, cheeks, jaw, and shoulders. Keep on going until you relax every muscle in your body. Breath slowly through the contraction until it’s over.
Remember that the contractions are not stronger than you. The contractions are you, getting your baby out. Consciously relax between contractions as well.
Some women find that they like to imagine that they are “floating” in water. If you’ve ever taken swim lessons, you know how you have to relax every muscle to be able to float. This was a description that resonated with me.
During active labor, you have nothing to worry about except for relaxing through each contraction. It’s a big job, but it’s your only job right now.
Moving around, using a birth ball, and being in warm water can help with relaxation and pain control during active labor.
Relaxation During Transition
Congratulations, you’ve made it to transition! This is the shortest stage, so you are almost there.
You’re probably very tired at this point. But your body’s about to get a boost of those fight-or-flight hormones, which is going to help you finish strong. Before those hormones kick in, though, you’re probably going to feel overwhelmed. I remember saying, “hey, can’t we get this baby to put it in reverse? I don’t think I can get him out.”
I’m not alone. That feeling of overwhelm is very characteristic of transition.
Keep relaxing through each contraction, just like you did during active labor. You may still feel overwhelmed, but relaxing will help with pain control. This is the time when you need your husband most. You need him be calm, look into your eyes, smile, and say, “You got this.”
“You’re my hero.”
“These contractions are not stronger than you. These contractions are you.”
“You are doing so well, and I am amazed at what you’re doing. No one else can do what you’re doing for our baby right now.”
This video is great and it’s entirely worth the watch. It gives dad a template to help coach mom during those hard moments. (The educator in the video uses the word “surges” instead of “contractions,” but the two words mean the same thing.)
After Transition
Remember those fight-or-flight hormones we talked about earlier? The ones we want to avoid during active labor? That “I can’t do this” feeling during transition triggers some of those hormones. And during pushing, that’s actually super helpful. Those flight-or-flight hormones help give energy for pushing, help with pain control, and help to shorten labor.
You’re also going to get another big boost of oxytocin to help with pain control while you push. Many mothers report no pain during pushing because they are so flooded with natural pain relief hormones.
So focus on relaxing throughout transition. If your labor progresses normally, the most painful part will be behind you once you start pushing.
Wrapping It Up
You’ll find a lot of different educators who use different methods to teach relaxation during birth. Lamaze, Bradley, and hypobirthing are all different methods of teaching relaxation during labor. Each have their strengths and weaknesses.
If you have time to invest in a class, I’d encourage you to do so. But if you don’t, the tips I’ve mentioned will help you and your husband to better relax during labor.
What else did you find helpful during labor? I would love to hear from you. Let me know in the comments!
Until next time,
Lynette