One of the most difficult things about settling down in a community where you didn’t grow up is the fact that grandparents are not right around the corner. Keeping them involved in their grandchildren’s lives can be tricky. I’ve learned this firsthand. We’ll discuss several ideas to help grandchildren and grandparents feel close, even from a distance.
- Encourage FaceTime and phone calls.
- Incorporate grandparents into everyday (or weekend) traditions.
- Invest in an electronic photo frame.
- Send pictures whenever you can.
- Make a “chew book” for your toddler.
- Ask them if they would like to help pick out holiday or special occasion outfits.
- Pick an “adopted grandparent.”
My husband and I moved about 10-12 hours from home when we first got married, and our parents were fine with it. That is, until that first grandbaby came along. Then, all of a sudden, they thought we lived a little too far away. 🙂
While living away from family can have some big benefits, not being close to family can be hard, too, especially with a child. You miss a lot of the family get-togethers, and your child can miss out on having a relationship with someone from that generation. And how about all the free babysitting you’re missing out on?
When we were expecting our first, I decided that I was going to be intentional about fostering a relationship between my son and his grandparents.
I knew that our parents wanted to know their grandchild. But to me, it was even more important that our son know his grandparents. I wanted him to know his heritage. I wanted him to understand our family culture eventually. And I want him to be able to carry a conversation with people who aren’t his age. Also, I don’t take it for granted that my son’s grandparents will always be around.
So, we thought of several ways to involve long-distance grandparents.
Encourage FaceTime or phone calls
FaceTime, video calls, and phone calls are all great. I find that we tend to forget to call unless we have it on the calendar routinely. For example, we try to call my dad on Monday mornings, while he’s sitting down with his morning coffee. I try to call my mom on Sunday morning while she’s getting ready for church. Calling regularly, even for short periods of time, builds relationships better than calling irregularly for longer periods of time.
Incorporate grandparents into simple traditions
Include your child’s grandparents in everyday little traditions! This might mean pancakes on Saturday with grandpa. You’d have a pancake breakfast every Saturday morning, and sit the kids down to eat together. FaceTime Grandpa and eat together! This can be an easy way to spend time together without having to think of things to talk about. Grandparents will often enjoy watching their grandchildren eat and enjoy.
You could do this with Friday night pizza, a weekly movie night, or even going on a walk together once a week. If it’s a tradition, it’s something that your kids and their grandparents will look back on as a special memory.
Invest in an electronic photo frame
Electronic photo frames, like this one, are a great gift for long-distance grandparents who want to be involved. It’s especially easy for technology-challenged people. Once you have the frame plugged in and on wifi, you download the app and connect to the frame. Then, it’s a simple click of a button to send photos from your phone to their frame. The frame will chime to signal incoming pictures, and your photos will show up on their frame automatically. The frame can be set up to display a slideshow or just their favorite photo. This has been a really fun gift for our parents.
Send photos whenever you can
Or, if you don’t want to invest in the e-photo frame, just make a point of sending photos on a regular basis. Use text, or email, or whatever they prefer to use. This is especially helpful when your baby is super young. However, just sending photos doesn’t really foster a two-way relationship, if that’s all you’re doing to keep grandparents involved.
Make a “chew book” for your toddler.
Once your child is old enough to play with toys (even as early as 6-8 months), make a “chew book.” Laminate photos of grandparent’s faces, and put them on a ring so that you can flip through them. This isn’t supposed to be pretty, just durable. Use it like a picture book; flip through the book and say their names. Leave the book with your baby’s toys so that he or she can chew on it, play with it, and do whatever he or she wants to do with it. Most kids will be able to recognize grandparents in real life from their photos at a pretty young age.
Ask grandparents if they would like to pick out special occasion outfits
Ask one grandma to buy a thanksgiving outfit, and another grandma to buy an Easter outfit. These outfits may not be what you would pick, but keep that in mind when you pick the holiday you want them to shop for. Don’t ask them to shop for Halloween or Christmas if you have your heart set on dressing your baby a certain way for those holidays. And then dress the baby in those clothes, and enjoy them! Send a picture to that grandparent, and thank them. It’ll be a special memory for them.
Pick an adopted grandparent
Even with all the things you’re doing to keep the actual grandparents involved, it’s not going to be the same. Your kids aren’t going to have the same relationship with their grandparents as they would if they lived closeby. So, pick an adopted grandparent for your kids. Choose someone you trust who can be a good role model and sounding board when you need advice.
And give your kids the gift of consistency. Treat that person like actual family through the years, so that your kids can have a lifelong relationship wiht someone from their grandparent’s generation.
Those are my tips! Please comment if you have other suggestions. 🙂