I recently heard of a newer phenomenon that’s sweeping the nation: the rise of American weed moms.
As Iegal, recreational marijuana has become more common, today’s moms have started to use marijuana (aka cannabis or weed). These moms say that it helps them to deal with stress, relax, and be more present with their children. These moms often call themselves cannamoms, weed moms, or marijuana moms.
Danielle Brand, the author of Weed Mom: The Canna-Curious Woman’s Guide to Healthier Relaxation, Happier Parenting, and Chilling TF Out, explains in a BBC article why she uses weed while she raises her two children.
Danielle says that using marijuana helps her feel “better and more embodied, happier in my body and mind.… Cannabis helps me in certain transitional moments. I can more easily set aside my workday to-do list, along with whatever challenges and frustrations I’ve experienced that day, and get into the kind of headspace where I can patiently help with homework or make dinner with my daughter.”
Danielle isn’t alone. Especially during the pandemic, many moms started using weed as a way to cope with stress and be more relaxed with their children. According to a 2021 survey of 11,000 moms, 10% of moms started or increased their use of cannabis during the pandemic.
One out of every ten moms used cannabis in 2021. That’s a lot of moms! That means that you’ll more than likely run into a cannamom at the playground or at soccer practice this summer.
Weed Moms: The New Wine Moms
Weed moms aren’t that different from the “wine moms” of the last generation. Remember the moms who used to wear the “mommy needs a glass of wine” t-shirts? Or the moms who would desperately look forward to that glass of wine to help them unwind before bed?
Weed and wine aren’t very different in the way they help someone relax. Both can help with relaxation. Both can be used in small amounts for a relaxing effect without intoxication. However, both can be addictive.
And while smoking weed often causes an offensive odor, it doesn’t leave the hangover that alcohol intoxication does. Edibles and infused drinks can help to relax someone without leaving that characteristic weed smell.
The difference between wine moms and weed moms is the stigma. Recreational use of alcohol has been legal since Prohibition was lifted in 1933. Recreational use of weed has recently been legalized in Colorado and Washington, although the availability of medical marijuana has made recreational use much more common across the country. Personally, I think recreational weed will soon be legal across the country.
A hundred years ago, a mother drinking wine to get through the day would have been very looked down upon. A hundred years from now, a mom who uses weed may well be the norm in America.
So what’s wrong with weed? If wine moms are okay, why not weed moms?
Why Do Moms Resort to Wine or Weed?
Why do we, as moms, become so stressed that we need to use a substance to help us handle it?
Honestly, I’ve felt that pressure too. I recently lost someone very close to me, and I’ve struggled with the pressure to use wine to dull the grief. The quick thought, “I don’t think I can handle this pain anymore. Wouldn’t it be nice to relax on the couch with some wine and forget about it?”
I can’t help but think that motherhood isn’t supposed to be this way.
But why is it? Is it the lack of sleep? The constant needs of little people? The unstable world around us? Fear for our children’s future? A crisis situation? A strained relationship with a spouse?
Or is it the fact that we don’t know how to lean into Jesus? The reality that we’re not equipped to work through grief? Is it the way that our generation has learned to cope with difficulty through screentime? Is it the perspective that difficult equals bad?
Motherhood is Not Supposed To Be Like This
We cry out in our souls, “It’s not supposed to be like this!” because we know, deep down, it’s true.
We shouldn’t have to fear for our kid’s future in an uncertain, dangerous world.
We’re not supposed to have to worry about losing our child to trafficking.
We shouldn’t have to worry about protecting our kids from the sex offender living down the street.
We’re not built to endure infertility, miscarriages, or a child’s death.
We shouldn’t have to endure the consequences of sin in our marriages.
The Gospel, as we’ve discussed in this post, explains this paradox that we see between perfection and perversion. The ultimate holiness of God and the rebellion of mankind.
But the Bible documents human treason right next to divine mercy – the promise of a Savior who would ultimately reverse the curse of sin and death. And when that Savior came, as the ultimate Promise-Keeper, He promised many things. One of those promises was peace. Jesus said,
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid…. I am going away, and I will come to you.”
– John 14:27-28
The context of that entire chapter is so beautiful. Jesus is talking to His closest friends. Those friends will watch Jesus be mercilessly slaughtered in the next several hours. And he promises them peace.
If you can, please take five minutes out of your day to read the chapter. You can read it here.
The Real Problem
Maybe the real problem isn’t wine, or weed.
What if the real problem is trying to do motherhood in our own strength?
What if the real reason we reach for alcohol or weed is that we try to be our own Saviors?
Because trying to do motherhood while leaning into Jesus is hard. It’s harder than lighting up a blunt or pouring a glass of wine.
The Promise of Peace
Jesus says that He will not leave us comfortless (John 14:18).
Those of us who have trusted in Him and are resting in His promises of salvation are not comfortless. And we have the resources to be courageous mothers. God calls us to be fearless, confident, and trusting in Him as we raise our children.
God tells us to abide in Him (John 15:4-9), and we will produce the evidence of His Spirit at work in our hearts. One of the evidences of that is peace.
To abide in Christ means to step into the safe refuge that is God. (This article explains more about that.) And as you run to that safe shelter with abandon and trust, God comforts and strengthens you.
The Mothers We’re Intended to Be
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a mother who is truly at rest in the shelter of Jesus. A mother who doesn’t have to pour a glass of wine to enjoy her children. A mother who doesn’t have to light up a blunt to stop the hamster wheel.
Or even a mother who isn’t stressed at baseline. One who doesn’t see herself as a martyr of motherhood. A mother who truly enjoys her children. A mother who shows her children how God delights in His children.
So when you’re tempted to look to something besides Jesus for peace, remember to run to your shelter. Live there.
And when you meet the wine mom, or the weed mom, or the stressed mom, be the reason she learns to run to Jesus, too.
Until next time,
Lynette
Credit for the incredibly beautiful photography in this post goes to:
Alesia Kozik on Pexels.com, Grape Things on Pexels.com, Megan Forbes on Pexels.com, Oleksandr P on Pexels.com, Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com, Ekaterina Belinskaya on Pexels.com, Ben Mack on Pexels.com, Josh Willink on Pexels.com, Kinley Lindsey on Pexels.com Tatiana Syrikova on Pexels.com